is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
