it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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