Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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