I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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