how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
