Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
