I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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