My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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