I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
