it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
