you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
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So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
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I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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