Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My bed smells like the plague
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
