You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
