I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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