they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize