I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
