I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
