Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
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So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
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I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
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