Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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