first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize