I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
