sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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