My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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