oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
