There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
