He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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