dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we're making bets on your personal life
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
