do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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