so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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