I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
and she was petting her beer can
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
