Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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