When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
