wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
