Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
