Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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