We're like a lot better than the average bears
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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