Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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