so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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