After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
