You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
