Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
