I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
