I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you had me at cake vodka
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
