Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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