also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
