so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
