Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize