It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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