she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
