So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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