At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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