Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
