i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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