I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
