I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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