Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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