White coat. Heels.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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