Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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