Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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