around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Text me some of your sweat
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
