we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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