my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
