Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
