sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
