My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
