Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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