Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
