note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
